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Don't Try to Life-proof your Relationship, Let it Ride the Wave cauz You Made it that Strong!`

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I haven’t chanced upon the secret to making a marriage damage-proof or insuring it against emotional setbacks. However, I do feel that the honest that we maintain, as a committed couple, positions us slightly better. Better than whom you ask? No comparisons here but I see a lot of couples, recently married ones in particular, unable to navigate the initial period that calls for wide-scale changes in perspective, during the time when you learn to create a space comfortable for each aspect of the relationship. 

Your biggest ally can be in not holding back when you realize that this headed for the altar. You cannot hide your demons. You cannot assume that your partner would understand everything. You have to lay it out on the table. Whether you walk into the marriage as an ex-serial dater, a father-figure hateful, or even a serial killer – you have to confess and share it all. This realm of disclosure does not make you vulnerable. In fact, it helps your partner size-up the challenges that lie ahead. This preps your partner in an emotional and perhaps, a financial way too.

Largely, this helps to create layers of insulation, layers that insulate your relationship when tough times prevail. Whether you have hated your childhood or scoffed at career choices of your peers, whether you grew-up without cousins or friends or if easy love-making opportunities is your only reason to tie the knot, don’t commit the sin of not sharing it. There is always comfort of taking your time to disclose things you know would eventually surface. Don't be in a hurry. You can be measured and take the time to do this one at a time. You might want to unload all of it suddenly too if that is your style.

…remember, it is a partnership and it should provide mutual but not exactly halved gains – this is not a business venture, it is a journey and there will be days when you will carry the most baggage

Whether you like dark poems that talk about the grim or if subtitles make a movie more watchable, indulge your partner into it. I see young men and women breaking-away because they walked into the relationship imagining only the best things to happen to them. Sometimes, it is tougher times that prevail first, followed by peaches & cream. You have to navigate it. You have to find your strength and give it to your life partner too. If she is outdoorsy, you have to be the DIY homemaker, if he is callous with money, she has to remind him about the wisdom of savings – 

when you are both in the dumps, you have to hold each other and believe, that this will pass and you will recreate the footprints that brought you together in the first place.

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