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DIY Anxiety Explorations: it is not generalized, not GERD, not Acute or Extreme!

sudden bouts of anxiety without a hint can throw off life
This blog is a testament to my anxious soul, my habit of overthinking things and being a bit volatile. For a long time, I had been believing that there is nothing really new about anxiety issues, about the anxiety of any type that I have not experienced. But September was a rude awakening and a realization that I did not see coming. This time, I have experienced anxiety in its most unusual way. Think of it as some sort of shakiness or feeling unsettled despite not worrying about anything, without obsessing over things around me. This bout of anxiety is very subtle but it remains in the system for the day. A few lone moments or working on some DIY project where my mind wanders around a bit can bring it on. This is the most spontaneous form of anxiety that is not about meeting new people or handling new situations. Many times, it comes up when there is nothing disturbing me at the moment, even when I am not fixating on the small imperfections I tend to notice a bit too much.
It is present when I am doing the everyday tasks, the daily duties and still, it manages to surface, making me a bit shaky. This is not Generalized Anxiety, for I understand it rather well. This does not feel anxious due to something bothering me subconsciously. The feeling can be very unsettling. It is new to me despite having experienced this problem for more than a decade. I had been talking about it and trying to explain it even before talking about anxiety and mental health issues became cool. Even worse is the fact this undefined anxiety surfaced at a time when there were birthdays to celebrate and I had to undertake abstinence from all types of alcohol. Perhaps, the mind dug a bit too much into elders in the family being old, very old, and some passing away. Perhaps, the mind was unconsciously concerned about the cycle of Life and impending Death which everyone knows and talks about but does not know how to interact with when such incidents actually come calling. No Valium this time around. I am like, "...let us do this without trying to create a fix". Yes, any instance of death in the far-away family circle too starts this bout of anxiety and it creeps up like a feeling of wire going through my lower legs. 

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