|You are a tea snob if you think drinking many cups at your work-desk makes you look important
Needless to say, this is due to my irresistible habit of observing things and forming knee-jerk opinions. I had always been intrigued by how people try to put in a bit of style when smoking, always holding their poison in a way that it looks sacred, something that makes them elite – a class apart. To some extent, this is understandable. Smoking is about getting a high and perhaps the high includes an ego boost too. What I couldn’t understand is why people who behave in a slightly similar way when sipping tea or coffee. This is not about some uptight tea drinking etiquette or weird tea serving rules like adding the milk last!
You are a tea snob if you pay a big tip for a single serving of tea at a cafe
Are you a tea snob?
You are a tea snob if your definition of eating out means starting and ending the meal with tea
If you hit-up any online UK tabloid, something like the Daily Mail UK, you will find lifestyle experts churning out heaps of summarized rules of tea sub-cultures. However, some people have mannerisms that are hard to explain. They have the same, slower-than-life head movement, some taking time to blink in ultra-slow motion, sighing with each sip, looking around as if they have been served the nectar of Life and soon, they will be Immortals.
You are a tea snob if you start discussing tea flavors during conversations about family, career, relationships
If you are actually trying to grab attention at a bistro or café, this works but I have seen folks do it habitually, perhaps unconsciously, and it just doesn’t make sense. Exuding attitude when having a cup of tea at your work desk or when trying to rush through the getting-ready-in-the-morning regimen just doesn’t make sense.
You are a tea snob if you talk about types of tea when people talk about recipes and food
Add to this the fact that some people sip excruciatingly slow, to the point of making you believe that the texture of their stuff is so heavenly that you need to ensure that each droplet makes an impact on your tongue, and you should feel every sip’s molecular impact as the liquid slowly makes it way down your throat.
You are a tea snob if you think a couple of green teas can work wonders with the gravest infection you have caught
Honestly, I should not be saying much about the etiquette of sipping tea since I confess to making those irritating, slurpy noises, taking the time to savor each sip. However, I am not loud like some comedians out there who make themselves heard across the room. Habitually, I cannot allow the tea to cool down and sip when it is rather hot, almost boiling. This is also a part of my tonsil and throat allergy management approach, i.e. sipping down extra-hot fluids helps to keep my throat calm.
You are a tea snob if you think milk within chai amounts to 'drinking milk'
Updated on January 27th, 2018: another thing I have noticed among people consuming tea from a cup is that their pinky finger tends to get deviated. While the rest of the fingers are comfortably curled around to secure the cup, the pinky manages to stay apart, raised vertically, at a slightly angle. Is this about the pinky existing in a zone of absolute freedom? Enjoying too much democracy perhaps? Is the pinky a standalone entity that is snooty and chooses not to conform to the convention that imposes itself on the index finger, the thumb and their closes colleagues?
You are a tea snob if you travel with tea bags of at least 5 different types
Updated on January 29th, 2018: for the first time during this Winter season, I am not liking the green tea a lot. Want to revert to this habit to ensure the health gains are not lost. A season of sweet indulgences, 2018 has been calorie-fi-cally unrelenting...just had a lovely gajar ka halwa sort of mithai from a teammate. The verdict? Unrealistically good!!
You are a tea snob if you start naming kids and pets as Lavender, Chamomile or Herby
Updated on February 22nd, 2018: feeling a bit pressured in sticking to my tea-sipping ways now that the summer season is on the verge of starting. Ginger tea has been my savior for the last two months or so, used each time I felt some soreness or harshness in my throat. Might try other ways of consuming ginger, apart from pickling it in lemon. Herbal teas don't taste that good without the milk and sugar though am not very fond of tea high on the sugar aspect.
You are a tea snob if you have almost daily stories about having your cup of tea
Updated on April 5th, 2018: it is the proper, hate-worthy season, here in Delhi and regular herbal or green tea blends have give way to simple concoctions prepared with home-boiled ginger, honey and peppermint. The servings are small. The mix gets steamed-up rather well in my flask by the time I reach office. Want to hold on to this one rather easy healthy habit throughout the sun-drenched season.
You are a tea snob if you if your bedside has electrical kettles and tea bags instead of your phone or a family photo